Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Summer

This is the time of year that makes me feel simultaneously young and old. I feel young because I can dress in comfy tees, tanks, and jeans, I can wear flip flops, and my hair can be unkempt and sexy at the same time. This is what life was like for me in my teens.

I feel old because I have to remind myself that there are many days that I must dress professionally, wear bulky shoes, and keep my hair organized. I have to speak clearly and carefully, and I must never, repeat NEVER flip the bird.

The sunshine that pours down in New Mexico this time of year is nearly impossible to avoid. I can get a tan in my living room, and I like this feature of my state. I don't enjoy the oppressive heat that often accompanies the sun. So some days I don't actually see the wonderful sun, for fear that I will burst into flames.

I am trying to treat my city and my self with reverence. I want to enjoy all of the wonderful things to do in my small corner of the world, but I just need to motivate myself.

Tomorrow, we will head out the door early.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Remember Me

So, I haven't posted for a while (obviously). I have been busy and down. When I've had enough time to blog, I feel like I don't have anything worth saying. When I have something to say, I'm too busy. Now I come to one of my monthly resolutions. I want to make time to write more.

I feel that when I write more, I am less likely to say stupid things at family gatherings. When I write more I feel like I am actually traveling down the path I want for myself. When I write more I feel less lonely.

I have been thinking about self expression. I am eagerly awaiting the day when my daughter speaks to me in a way that I can understand. I am excited to hear her express herself. I have started censoring myself verbally, so that when my daughter does express herself, she does it in a way that doesn't require a parent/teacher conference at daycare. I have also been having outbursts of verbal diarrhea when I'm not around my daughter. This has me confused. I'll be with family and I will say something wholly inappropriate or offensive.

This is why I need to write. I think my brain is screaming for an outlet, but I keep denying it and then it explodes when least expected.

So here's to self expression. Feel free to root me on or ignore me in comments.

About Me

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Farmington, NM, United States
Old enough to know better, young enough to change.