So, I haven't posted for a while (obviously). I have been busy and down. When I've had enough time to blog, I feel like I don't have anything worth saying. When I have something to say, I'm too busy. Now I come to one of my monthly resolutions. I want to make time to write more.
I feel that when I write more, I am less likely to say stupid things at family gatherings. When I write more I feel like I am actually traveling down the path I want for myself. When I write more I feel less lonely.
I have been thinking about self expression. I am eagerly awaiting the day when my daughter speaks to me in a way that I can understand. I am excited to hear her express herself. I have started censoring myself verbally, so that when my daughter does express herself, she does it in a way that doesn't require a parent/teacher conference at daycare. I have also been having outbursts of verbal diarrhea when I'm not around my daughter. This has me confused. I'll be with family and I will say something wholly inappropriate or offensive.
This is why I need to write. I think my brain is screaming for an outlet, but I keep denying it and then it explodes when least expected.
So here's to self expression. Feel free to root me on or ignore me in comments.