Friday, March 27, 2009

Yogurt: Food or Phallus?

Yogurt. As we all know, it's not food. It's an escape from food, an escape from fear of getting fat, an escape from your job or family. Now yogurt is also a sexual gratification tool. Dannon has a new commercial out for Light & Fit. I find this commercial frustrating for several reasons, but you should see it for yourself.

Dannon is quick to remind us that the reason we want to buy Light & Fit is because it won't make us any fatter. 20 extra calories in a yogurt is enough to make one balloon up to the size of a "normal" person.

Then we are snapped into a grocery store where an attractive woman is shopping in a yogurt aisle. (Why is there an entire aisle dedicated to yogurt when I have searched and found only about 5 major brands? I swear, one day there will be an entire fucking yogurt store.) This woman aggressively rips open a container of the not-fat-making Light & Fit and sticks the yogurt around her mouth. She then proceeds to suck the yogurt out of the cup, hands free, as the cup deflates. There is a sickly slurping sound to accompany this spectacle. Why? For the seductive, bashful yet naughty face she makes after she is finished. This woman was satisfied by quickly swallowing creamy yogurt.

Do we feel grossed out yet?

Now, it has been my understanding that yogurt is for women.

But this commercial seems to be trying to shift the demographic from grey-hoodied Masters housewives to Judd Apatow and his army of brain donors. This commercial says, "Stay skinny! Swallow! Ask for more!" to the women. But it seems to also hint that guys should think their yogurt hording women are "yogurting" (yeah, I made it up) for the pleasure of their men.

Can I just eat yogurt without it having to be a sexual act? I would like to have one act in my life not be sexualized for the sake of some other group which (ostensibly) doesn't even care about the very food I am supposed to hock.

Buy Brown Cow, stuff it Dannon!

Monday, March 23, 2009


It is Spring Break, and it is time to reflect recent events at school. My students have been predictably squirrelly, as the weather is warming up and the end is neigh. The staff is getting restless, as they are preparing for professional development, vacations, or in some cases retirement. Parents are getting antsy because they (finally?) noticed that their child is not doing well in school.

I have had to address student drug use, apathy, violence and more this year. This is all to be expected, but having a break to reflect sheds light on how much so many kids have to go through just to get through school.

I have had one young mother drop out. I have had one young father arrested for child abuse/neglect.
I have had one student expelled for fighting.
I have had one student sent to rehab and counseling for refusal to speak to anyone.
I have had one student reveal physical abuse.
I have had one student reveal sexual abuse.
I have had one student reveal mental health problems.
I have had one student report bullying from a substitute against her and other classmates.

I have been blessed to have so many wonderful children come through my classroom just this year. It is sometimes so hard to wade through the days and appreciate each student as an individual, but when I give myself the chance, it is wonderful.

I have met dozens of artists.
I have met hundreds of comedians.
I have met one psychic.
I have met 3 dirtbike racers.
I have met 1 rodeo participant.
I have met 1 cellist.

The list goes on. My students all have something wonderful to offer. Sometimes they feel that they don't because they do not fit the school mold. I will try to remind them that while grades are important, they aren't as important as being a good, honest, caring, creative person.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Spring Break

It is officially Spring Break. For some reason I kicked mine off as if I were a freshman in college, and subsequently I spent Saturday recovering.

Note to others; always eat before going out to pretend you're a rock star.

I am better now, and I will behave like an adult for the rest of the week.

Monday, March 2, 2009

I've been away

I've been away, and I haven't been a "good" blogger. To make up for that I humbly submit some adorable for your viewing pleasure. I'm working on what will hopefully be a decent post.


About Me

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Farmington, NM, United States
Old enough to know better, young enough to change.