Monday, December 21, 2009


Two years ago today, my life changed. Judith came into the world and brought me a new kind of joy. Since then, I cannot imagine my life without her. We celebrated her birthday by decorating Christmas cookies with friends. It was sticky and messy, but all friends had a good time, and Judy was a joy.
Here are some pics.
The cookies were very interesting, and the kids were nice and sugared up when they left. We didn't want to have a cake, since the cookies and frosting were enough sugar to last a lifetime. Jason fashioned this "cake" with a blob of frosting atop a disfigured cookie. Judy loved blowing out the candles. It was a beautiful day and the kids got to play outside

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


Lost is starting soon! I love this show, even though I was turned on to it only a year ago. My husband and I rented every season and had Lostathons until we were done. Now we are chomping at the bit to see the final season.

I love so many of the characters on this show, and since my sister and I are currently in a fight over who dreamy Dr. Jack Shepard will actually end up with (me!), I offer a tribute to one of my other favorites (and alternate heartthrob), Desmond.

Saturday, November 28, 2009


I usually participate in Buy Nothing Day. This is an act of defiance to the new "tradition" of swarming malls and "bustin' doors" to get a "deal" on stuff for other people. For years I have avoided the mall the day after Thanksgiving, and I have also made efforts to avoid purchasing any goods on any other holidays (including the "sort ofs" like Memorial Day and Labor Day). I do this because while many people have a "day off" they decide to go and encourage businesses to stay open which means that many people will never get a day off.

Much of this thinking came about when I was a waitress. I hated that I had to bust my ass on Mother's Day to a crowd of people that felt that the best way to celebrate the person who most likely slaved over food 364 days of the year was to take her out to eat. Cook for the woman, she does it for you without the sappy card the rest of the year!

Sorry, I guess I got off track.

Back to the point of this post. I broke my own rules. My husband and I are now, regrettably, early risers whether or not we want to be. On Friday, we woke up at 5 am and went to Rears Soebuck and purchased a new high-efficiency washer/dryer set for $1000.

That's a deal too good to pass up. Our used washer and dryer (which have been repaired several times by hubby) are acting up again. We decided that it was the right time to make the investment, and the new washer will use much less water. Hopefully the greenness will offset my feelings of guilt about the glutness of the day.

I will continue to practice my own "Buy Nothings" but I will try to be kind to myself if I fall short of perfection.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Live Blogging a DVRed Palin Interview

I stopped DVRing Oprah months ago, I think it was right around the time that Oprah started another round of fat-hatred/self-flagellation. I'm not on Oprah strike. I'll watch her program if I can, but I don't make a special effort anymore. At any rate, I knew that I could not pass up the opportunity to hear Sarah Palin try to justify all of her idiotic maneuvers in politics, or to listen to the cognitive dissonance when she tries to discount feminisim while still greatly benifitting from all of the hard work of others who whole-heartedly disagree with her but defend her from sexist attacks.

Join me on a journey of fantastic book promotion and meaningless spin. Let's "Go Rogue!"

Wow, that was a short intro.

Oprah sets the record straight about Palin not being invited to the show. Crap spin on both sides. Palin does a good ass kiss and Oprah does an unnecessary explanation. Palin is not good at masking her distaste.

Going Rogue. Most bleh title ever.

Oooo, she's so "country" she went to the State Fair of the state in which she was the govenor at the time. I hate the faux narrative.

The audience is rustling as if they are bored already.

Team McCain: Claims to have vetted, but we all know that is probably an embellishment.

Got a D doesn't = skeleton. Gimme a break.

Bristol's pregnancy. Not to be used as a message. She's your child. I can't beleive that you would even consider it.

I approved all messages that I approved of, but did not approve other messages. Zuh?

Tackling teen pregnancy does not equal "Save it for Jesus." Comprehensive Sex Ed, but you spoke against it during the campaign.

Palin claims that pregnancy was a "good idea" to show realism, but didn't think her kids would be discussed in the news?

Double standards and privilege?

She could barely spit out that she respects Obama. Rogue?

Commercial Break with Fast Forward

I agree with you Palin. What you eat is not what should be the focus. Ever. Good point.

Oprah gives a few digs about being an Obama supporter.

McCain is not ever about empowering women. Gimme a break. I can't believe you would say that right after you claim that his "team" tried to force you on a diet.

The clothes issue. I agree that they probably blew it out of proportion, but the McCain campaign was trying to create a narrative of "A Hero and A Hottie"

Thanks for bringing up Hillary. Real feminist.

Soundbites spoonfed to an inexperienced candidate? Never.

Did you stop them? Unfortunately not enough.

She just said "Went Rogue." Blech.

Are you going to call out those who were trying to keep the status quo? People did want change, you "claim" to have been ready to provide change, but your supporters and many of your sound bites tout traditionalism, the good ole days, and protecting the status quo. Any comments?

Commercial Break=Fast Forward

Katie Couric

Feigned shock does not go over well with Oprah.

"I never expected a journalist to investigate. I was unprepared."

Reality show stars blame editing. We stopped buying that excuse about on Apprentice 1.

Joe Biden gaffes do not equal not reading anything.

I do agree that many people treat Alaska like a foreign country, but she should have at least said WSJ or NYT.

With all due respect to "the perky one." I think the respect is hidden under all of the disdain.

Abortion is not an "easy situation." Aren't you glad you had the opportunity to make that CHOICE? Your baby is truly wanted and blessed to have parents who aren't forced to "put up" with him.

Commercial Break

Levi's choices are his. "I don't want to talk about it." "I judge his 'porn' and how he's not around."

"We're not into the drama, but buy my book that teases about drama-city within the McCain campaign."

Now I get to take a drive with her and see what a true hockey mom she is.

Mmmmm....Caramel apples.

Cute costumes.

I like how she discusses her marriage as a partnership.

Election night---disappointment and spin. Blah Blah Blah.

Oprah, I can't believe you're doing the "What about the children?" question. If she had become Veep or Pres, there would be staff to handle the kids. Just like there is probably staff for others. I hate when people make me agree with Sarah Palin.

She just said CHOICES when speaking about women without a trace of irony. Gimme a puke pail. Blech.

The resignation=if you are elected for a second term, that is not just so you can run for office again. Your constituents want you to do your fucking job!!!!! And now we blame the resignation on Obama. Stay classy.

OOO...she just interrupted Oprah. Not a good idea.

Boy-how, I hate it when people use gun terminology when speaking of politics.

Presidential Run? Stick to the talking points. Ordinary Americans?

Final Question=Sarah Palin Talk Show? God I hope so. It'll be better than Tony Danza. But she gave a pretty classy answer.

Take away--Buy the book.

And we just Went Rogue.

What a crapfest. Thanks for coming along.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Enough already!

I got sick 2 weeks ago, and I am still feeling the effects of that crud. My sinuses feel like they are going to explode. Already with the feeling better please!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

This just in....

I am fat. I also have a big nose. I am not considered attractive by many high school students. I resemble a fat penguin. I eat so much that it boggles the mind of one young boy. (I'm not sure how he knows how much I'm eating, so maybe I should install some security devices at my house.)

All of this makes me a bad teacher.

Yay for assholes in my morning class.

I should not be upset about finding all of this bullshit on a homework assignment that the student in question wrote his name on and left on his desk. I should be grateful that my mere existence is so powerful that it confuses this student so much,

But still...hateful words hurt. I'm going to feel better, but for now I'm pretty sad/pissed.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Piling On

It's October. For some people that means that fall is really here, or that it is time to start designing the perfect costume, or for some it means it's time to start Christmas shopping.

For me, October means it is officially time to flip my shit.

It is a grand tradition. Every year since I started college, October was the time for me to feel overwhelmed. Mid terms would arrive, and I would realize how terrifyingly unprepared I was. I would get a mid-term back with a C, D, or even an F or two. Then I would sob for hours, frantically reviewing the wrong answers or remarkably mark free essays wondering, "What went wrong?"

Lather, rinse, and repeat every fall (and spring) while I was in college.

I like me some tradition. And being a white person without a ritualistic religion, I decided to hold on to the October Freak Out.

So, in less than two weeks, I need to have the first 100 pages of a yearbook perfected and sent off. I also need to sell enough yearbooks to get out of the hole. I need to write a newsletter that praises kids for their good work, informs parents of upcoming assignments, and encourages two-way communication. I also need to have all of my students' assignments graded (thoughtfully) and entered into the gradebook. Also, it is time to start the dreaded Professional Development Dossier (pages and pages of reflection and discussion about what I do every day).

And then November comes.

By November, all of the October Freak Out tears, yells, curses fade away, as I attempt for the second time to complete a novel for National Novel Writing Month.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Fancy Shoes

Judy loves here fancy shoes. She wears them all the time, but she loves to wear them while nearly naked. She stomps on the floor and shouts to show her joy at wearing such pretty, noisy shoes.

If she could, she'd wear them to bed and the bath, but for now I just let her wear them while she eats.

Thursday, August 6, 2009


Driving home on a very busy road, I pulled up next to this truck and trailer on the road. For those who can't see, the unstable tub is labled "Methanol." It was sloshing around wildly. I was a little unnerved. Is this legal, to just drive around town with a highly toxic liquid sloshing around on your trailer?

Small town livin.

Saturday, July 18, 2009


I am trying to explore my fiction voice more lately. As a result, I have not written much here. I have collected several prompts and begun working on very short stories. I am hoping that as I build the fiction muscle become a stronger writer and hopefully put out some content that people actually want to read. If you are interested in feeding my work, please post some story prompts or lengths that I should meet. I work better with some heat on. If you are interested in reading some stuff, send me a note and we can work on an exchange.

Thanks for your help and support.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Holiday Words

My husband's musings this evening...

"I think I'll get off early tomorrow and come home and put in a new toilet before everyone comes over."

...sound a lot like the idea he rolled around on Thanksgiving 5 years ago before shouting exasperatingly from the roof...

"Now the chimney won't go back together. No fire tonight."

Tuesday, June 30, 2009


This is the time of year that makes me feel simultaneously young and old. I feel young because I can dress in comfy tees, tanks, and jeans, I can wear flip flops, and my hair can be unkempt and sexy at the same time. This is what life was like for me in my teens.

I feel old because I have to remind myself that there are many days that I must dress professionally, wear bulky shoes, and keep my hair organized. I have to speak clearly and carefully, and I must never, repeat NEVER flip the bird.

The sunshine that pours down in New Mexico this time of year is nearly impossible to avoid. I can get a tan in my living room, and I like this feature of my state. I don't enjoy the oppressive heat that often accompanies the sun. So some days I don't actually see the wonderful sun, for fear that I will burst into flames.

I am trying to treat my city and my self with reverence. I want to enjoy all of the wonderful things to do in my small corner of the world, but I just need to motivate myself.

Tomorrow, we will head out the door early.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Remember Me

So, I haven't posted for a while (obviously). I have been busy and down. When I've had enough time to blog, I feel like I don't have anything worth saying. When I have something to say, I'm too busy. Now I come to one of my monthly resolutions. I want to make time to write more.

I feel that when I write more, I am less likely to say stupid things at family gatherings. When I write more I feel like I am actually traveling down the path I want for myself. When I write more I feel less lonely.

I have been thinking about self expression. I am eagerly awaiting the day when my daughter speaks to me in a way that I can understand. I am excited to hear her express herself. I have started censoring myself verbally, so that when my daughter does express herself, she does it in a way that doesn't require a parent/teacher conference at daycare. I have also been having outbursts of verbal diarrhea when I'm not around my daughter. This has me confused. I'll be with family and I will say something wholly inappropriate or offensive.

This is why I need to write. I think my brain is screaming for an outlet, but I keep denying it and then it explodes when least expected.

So here's to self expression. Feel free to root me on or ignore me in comments.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Important Update

I have decided that Legos can qualify as a lethal weapon when placed underfoot.

Thursday, April 2, 2009


Regardless of purpose,
I must forge on.
Without encouragement,
my day unfolds.
There will be light,
but it isn't visible yet.
I close my eyes
and imagine the warmth.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Yogurt: Food or Phallus?

Yogurt. As we all know, it's not food. It's an escape from food, an escape from fear of getting fat, an escape from your job or family. Now yogurt is also a sexual gratification tool. Dannon has a new commercial out for Light & Fit. I find this commercial frustrating for several reasons, but you should see it for yourself.

Dannon is quick to remind us that the reason we want to buy Light & Fit is because it won't make us any fatter. 20 extra calories in a yogurt is enough to make one balloon up to the size of a "normal" person.

Then we are snapped into a grocery store where an attractive woman is shopping in a yogurt aisle. (Why is there an entire aisle dedicated to yogurt when I have searched and found only about 5 major brands? I swear, one day there will be an entire fucking yogurt store.) This woman aggressively rips open a container of the not-fat-making Light & Fit and sticks the yogurt around her mouth. She then proceeds to suck the yogurt out of the cup, hands free, as the cup deflates. There is a sickly slurping sound to accompany this spectacle. Why? For the seductive, bashful yet naughty face she makes after she is finished. This woman was satisfied by quickly swallowing creamy yogurt.

Do we feel grossed out yet?

Now, it has been my understanding that yogurt is for women.

But this commercial seems to be trying to shift the demographic from grey-hoodied Masters housewives to Judd Apatow and his army of brain donors. This commercial says, "Stay skinny! Swallow! Ask for more!" to the women. But it seems to also hint that guys should think their yogurt hording women are "yogurting" (yeah, I made it up) for the pleasure of their men.

Can I just eat yogurt without it having to be a sexual act? I would like to have one act in my life not be sexualized for the sake of some other group which (ostensibly) doesn't even care about the very food I am supposed to hock.

Buy Brown Cow, stuff it Dannon!

Monday, March 23, 2009


It is Spring Break, and it is time to reflect recent events at school. My students have been predictably squirrelly, as the weather is warming up and the end is neigh. The staff is getting restless, as they are preparing for professional development, vacations, or in some cases retirement. Parents are getting antsy because they (finally?) noticed that their child is not doing well in school.

I have had to address student drug use, apathy, violence and more this year. This is all to be expected, but having a break to reflect sheds light on how much so many kids have to go through just to get through school.

I have had one young mother drop out. I have had one young father arrested for child abuse/neglect.
I have had one student expelled for fighting.
I have had one student sent to rehab and counseling for refusal to speak to anyone.
I have had one student reveal physical abuse.
I have had one student reveal sexual abuse.
I have had one student reveal mental health problems.
I have had one student report bullying from a substitute against her and other classmates.

I have been blessed to have so many wonderful children come through my classroom just this year. It is sometimes so hard to wade through the days and appreciate each student as an individual, but when I give myself the chance, it is wonderful.

I have met dozens of artists.
I have met hundreds of comedians.
I have met one psychic.
I have met 3 dirtbike racers.
I have met 1 rodeo participant.
I have met 1 cellist.

The list goes on. My students all have something wonderful to offer. Sometimes they feel that they don't because they do not fit the school mold. I will try to remind them that while grades are important, they aren't as important as being a good, honest, caring, creative person.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Spring Break

It is officially Spring Break. For some reason I kicked mine off as if I were a freshman in college, and subsequently I spent Saturday recovering.

Note to others; always eat before going out to pretend you're a rock star.

I am better now, and I will behave like an adult for the rest of the week.

Monday, March 2, 2009

I've been away

I've been away, and I haven't been a "good" blogger. To make up for that I humbly submit some adorable for your viewing pleasure. I'm working on what will hopefully be a decent post.


Saturday, January 31, 2009

Skype pigs

So my mom and I were trying to figure out how to video chat, and we were trying to discuss Skype. I had my Skype open so I could try to explain or understand how to find my mom (couldn't). Anyways, I have now recieved several invites for video sex as well as some bizarre messages.

Why on earth do people troll around looking for people like this? I simply blocked them and told them no, but it just seems so strange. I'm bored. I'm on the computer. Yet I haven't once solicited anonymous virtual sex from anyone. I am unable to wrap my head around this.

Anyway, just a little update from my manor.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Going to the doctor.

I have been spoiled over the last year. During my pregnancy I had a pretty fat friendly midwife, so I was not berated for reproducing in my socially unacceptable state. All of the doctors and midwives that I have seen during my "recovery" from childbirth were polite and comforting.

Today I must go to the gynecologist. My birth control has just run out, and if you're not clear on how that might terrify me, ask my daughter Judith. Not only could I not get an appointment with a midwife, but I am going to a male gynecologist. I have never had a male gyno. I am very nervous about this aspect, but even more nervous about how he will treat me. Will he see a professional woman who would like to control her reproductive life? Will he see an "unfuckable" who doesn't need birth control because no one wants to sleep with a fatty? Will he tell me I'm too fat for his practice and admonish me to go on a diet before I can have my beloved birth control pills?

I hate to be so cynical, but since so many people have had problems with fat phobic doctors, I think my fear is founded. I am preparing my responses to diet talk, but I don't know if I will be as witty when I'm naked and cold with a light on my genitals.

Wish me luck.

Update: I went to the doctor. He was very pleasant, and he didn't even mention weight or diet. He made me feel comfortable and didn't keep me in there all day. Sorry for the paranoia, and thanks for the well wishes.

Monday, January 5, 2009


Tomorrow is my birthday. It is also the day that the state I have lived in my entire life became a member of the United States. It is also the date that Samuel Morse successfully tested the telegraph. There are a lot of other things that happened on my birthday, and you can decide which is most important by looking at Wikipedia.

My mother just left after an extended stay, and it is a bummer since we could have spent the day together. It was a great Christmas and Birthday present to have her here with my daughter and I. Thanks for giving birth mom, and thanks for always supporting me.

I am hoping to secure a sitter, drive to the only sushi place in town, eat, and go to bed early. Over Christmas break I gave myself the gift of my own breasts, as I weaned my daughter. I might buy some boots and some dishes, but I can't really think of "stuff" that I want for my birthday.

Thanks to all of my "readers." I really feel connected to a world of people that I would not be able to find in the "meat world." Even though I am not always insightful, you all often give me a purpose to write, and that is something a procrastinator like me needs.

About Me

My photo
Farmington, NM, United States
Old enough to know better, young enough to change.