Monday, March 3, 2008

I hate Heelys!

I know that I am not the only one that feels this way. I hate Heelys with the fire of a thousand suns. For those of you lucky enough to have avoided an encounter with the Devil's playthings, Heelys are "shoes" for children that have a wheel in the heel that can be clicked out for a skating-like sensation.

How do I hate Heelys, let me count the ways.

*Heely wearers are always children, and these children are (almost)always wheeling about a public place with no supervision.

*When Heely wearers are "supervised," the parents are blissfully ignorant to the fact that their child is putting themselves and others in harms way.

*Heely wearers often wheel directly into people and don't so much as acknowledge the collision.

*Heely wearers have to run to get speed enough to wheel effectively. This running is not done outside, but often in a store with hard floors (Costco, Target, the freaking Post Office, etc.).

*Parents of Heely wearers look like the type of people that would hold a city council meeting about "those damn teenagers skateboarding at the park at night," yet they see no problem letting their child wheel about willy-nilly.

*Heely wearers have to walk differently because of the wheel in the heel, and therefore are likely doing damage to their feet and spines.

Please, don't buy Heelys. Don't buy them for your children, or for your nieces and nephews. Don't even buy them for sworn enemies. Let this "trend" die a quick and silent death.


  1. I will admit to having been tempted to stick out a knee to clock Heely-wearers in the side as they come zooming past in an attempt to knock some sense into them or their parents. I have yet to take this action, but I consider it regularly.

  2. OMG! I so agree. Those are officially banned at my kid's school, but I still get nearly knocked over occasionally. Great job, school, have a rule and don't enforce it, woohoo!

  3. Seriously! Word.

    I have watched far too many of the wheel toting assailants to ever allow an offspring of my own creation to go flailing around in them.

    nice blog you have here!

  4. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I've had kids dart right in front my cart at Meijer, tear around the room at SCA meetings, and have come very, very close to tripping several of them. Evil, evil things.

    (Though I got lulz from my godson, who announced that he wanted a 'pair of black heels')

  5. I SO agree! I work at Ikea and see kids come close to serious injury in the warehouse often. I've even seen them skating around stores with their ipods so that they can't even hear what's going on around them. Awesome. Some kid is going to have to get decapitated in a Home Depot before parents pay attention to how awful Heelys are.


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Farmington, NM, United States
Old enough to know better, young enough to change.