Friday, August 31, 2007

Baby Weight

So, the six readers that I have know that I am pregnant. I haven't talked about it much, but this week I feel a need.

I went to get a checkup this week, and I got a new midwife. My previous midwife is out on maternity leave for the remainder of my pregnancy, and she was really great, so I am sad.

My first appointment with the new midwife was stressful for several reasons. It takes me 20 minutes to get to the clinic (including a traffic allowance), and I left my house 40 minutes early (to allow for paperwork and a quick pee). I was stuck in traffic for 45 minutes. I was ten minutes late to the appointment. Being late stresses me out, especially now that I am pregnant. I hate tardiness. Hate it. A lot. So I walked in the door, hating myself.

Once I got in, I was weighed. This doesn't bother me, as I am a convert to the teachings of Kate Harding and The Rotund. So I got on the scale and was comfortable with my new number and I sat patiently waiting for the new midwife.
She came in and asked the formal questions, and then spent the whole visit talking about my weight gain. I have gained weight, during pregnancy. Le Gasp!!! She then started asking me questions about what I eat, and my exercise regime. She did not ask me if I smoke or drink (I don't), and I hear tell that those habits are way more detrimental to the health of a fetus than eating. Then she pointed at my stretch marks on my stomach as if that were evidence of poor eating habits. Guess what? I have had stretch marks since I was in the 5th grade. When I weighed less than 100 pounds I had stretch marks. They are hormonal!!!

So now she wants me to do a 3 day diet audit. I am torn about how to do it. I have three ideas:
1. Go to my uber-healthy three day veggie and grilled chicken/fish/beef diet.
2. Change absolutely nothing.
3. Change nothing, but report three days of nothing but fried chicken and pizza.

All of these have equally satisfying results for me, but I feel that only one will get her to shut the fuck up.

And the kicker? She is fat. And not pregnant. I am fat, but I'm also pregnant. Diets are bad anytime, but especially during pregnancy. And she did not consider that I might be recovering from an eating disorder, or that being fat shamed might send me into a depressive state. Both scenarios are not ideal for a healthy pregnancy. She also didn't consider that I might not care about being fat during pregnancy (or ever), or that I am as heavy now as I was this time last year. Hmmm...maybe I am fucking healthy.

But I definitely am fat.

On a more positive pregnancy note, my baby is very active. And she loves my voice! :)


  1. OMG! This pisses me off more than I can say. The gave my mom dexedrin (yes, really piss-poor diet pills) when she was carrying me.

    I was 10 lbs, 1 oz at birth -- possibly as a sheer act of rebelliousness.

    I know too, that when you're concentrating on making a baby, you don't exactly feel like educating your midwife -- but sheesh! I hope somebody (*paging Kate Harding, paging Kate Harding*) gets to her and gets her mind right.

    Hang in there, kiddo!

  2. Thanks portlydyke. I really hope that I was overly sensitive due to my own tardiness, because I can't handle the next 3 and a half months of fat shame.

  3. You could tell her option 3, with a pizza and fried chicken and butter-wrapped-in-bacon diet...and then look all astonished and hurt when she tells you this is naughty, saying "But...I switched to diet soda!" - I would, but I've become all mean and sarcastic in recent times.

  4. Oh dear - I have to, ahem, er, weigh in here and be a busybody - I just can't stand it!

    First, when I read you were seeing a midwife - I thought - terrific! I had midwives (midwife-nurse practioners) for both my pregnancies and they were great - but this one doesn't sound like the ones I know - she sounds less than sensitive and helpful, and not at all in tune - which is one of the major reasons, I thought, to go to a midwife.

    I do know that excessive weight gain in pregnancy can do a couple of things: trigger diabetes and create inherent fat cells in the baby. Too much weight gain can also make the labor and delivery harder than it has to be. By the way- are you walking on a regular basis? Do it - it will make labor easier (relatively speaking) -you will be surprisingly stronger for the physical work of birthin' a baby.

    but i also know that we gain weight when are pregnant. i gained more than my midwives thought best, but they checked my sugar levels etc. I did not get looks, lectures, etc. that made me feel bad about the weight gain (60 lbs with each baby. First baby weighted 8 lb 6 oz, second one weighed 9 lbs, 10 oz. Both were very happy and frankly, it's good for babies to be a decent weight at birth -they lose a bit right after. And if they get sick early on, they lose some more - best to start with a bit extra.)

    the first time i was pregnant, i was woefully ill-informed about nutrition, but knowing i needed extra calcium, went to town on chocolate ice cream. my midwife let me know that was not the best ay to get my calcium and that chocolate changes the molecular sctructure of calcium and prohibits your body from processing it properly - so not only was i taking in more calories than I needed, i wasn't getting the nutrition i needed. wasted calories - and calories need to count when you're pregant. the baby will take what she needs from you no matter what - and that will lead you with less than you need. so this is also about your health, not just the baby's.

    so do the diary for real - your midwife may have some valuable info for you about your diet. but SPEAK UP as well, and tell her how she made you feel and your history. you have to build a solid relationship with her - after all - she'll be there when you birth the baby, right? so she has to change her approach - but so do you - cause you got to let her know how she affects you - so she won't affect you negatively during labor and delivery.

    ok, my apologies for the long response and for being a bossy know-it-all. now go kick your midwife's ass (nicely though, nicely - hahahaha!)

    i can hardly wait for the baby to be born - when are you due? i love babies. they are perfect in every way! you are so lucky!

  5. thanks bird. i'm due on christmas day, but i'm holding out for the 26th. :)

    As for the weight gain, I am actually still within my "normal" range. I weighed more than this for two years before becoming pregnant, so I feel like she isn't really thinking of anything but the BMI.

    As for walking, I'm doing ok on that front, and I try to do extended yogic squats daily to build my back and thigh muscles.


About Me

My photo
Farmington, NM, United States
Old enough to know better, young enough to change.