So, the six readers that I have know that I am pregnant. I haven't talked about it much, but this week I feel a need.
I went to get a checkup this week, and I got a new midwife. My previous midwife is out on maternity leave for the remainder of my pregnancy, and she was really great, so I am sad.
My first appointment with the new midwife was stressful for several reasons. It takes me 20 minutes to get to the clinic (including a traffic allowance), and I left my house 40 minutes early (to allow for paperwork and a quick pee). I was stuck in traffic for 45 minutes. I was ten minutes late to the appointment. Being late stresses me out, especially now that I am pregnant. I hate tardiness. Hate it. A lot. So I walked in the door, hating myself.
Once I got in, I was weighed. This doesn't bother me, as I am a convert to the teachings of Kate Harding and The Rotund. So I got on the scale and was comfortable with my new number and I sat patiently waiting for the new midwife.
She came in and asked the formal questions, and then spent the whole visit talking about my weight gain. I have gained weight, during pregnancy. Le Gasp!!! She then started asking me questions about what I eat, and my exercise regime. She did not ask me if I smoke or drink (I don't), and I hear tell that those habits are way more detrimental to the health of a fetus than eating. Then she pointed at my stretch marks on my stomach as if that were evidence of poor eating habits. Guess what? I have had stretch marks since I was in the 5th grade. When I weighed less than 100 pounds I had stretch marks. They are hormonal!!!
So now she wants me to do a 3 day diet audit. I am torn about how to do it. I have three ideas:
1. Go to my uber-healthy three day veggie and grilled chicken/fish/beef diet.
2. Change absolutely nothing.
3. Change nothing, but report three days of nothing but fried chicken and pizza.
All of these have equally satisfying results for me, but I feel that only one will get her to shut the fuck up.
And the kicker? She is fat. And not pregnant. I am fat, but I'm also pregnant. Diets are bad anytime, but especially during pregnancy. And she did not consider that I might be recovering from an eating disorder, or that being fat shamed might send me into a depressive state. Both scenarios are not ideal for a healthy pregnancy. She also didn't consider that I might not care about being fat during pregnancy (or ever), or that I am as heavy now as I was this time last year. Hmmm...maybe I am fucking healthy.
But I definitely am fat.
On a more positive pregnancy note, my baby is very active. And she loves my voice! :)